See how they bait their trap? I will help you spring it.

I saw a picture recently(online) of a man attempting to procreate with a giant scorpion. No really. It was captioned with, "That's it, the internet's over. Everyone go home." A recent romp of a friend's myspace profile and survey of the comments left by a heavily disturbed individual who has a thing for... I don't even know how to describe it, has lead me to this same conclusion.

Work has resumed as normal, so, you know. That's just... awesome. Apparently taking powernaps on one's break is cause for a writeup. I didn't GET written up, but I did get yelled at. I mean, I was on break. I didn't know.

This fortune cookie is stale. Also, has anybody else noticed that fortune cookies don't so much deal with the future as they do with moral lessons? Or deep, intimate truths about oneself? Like this one, this one says, "You are demonstrative with the ones you love" I think most people are, but what does that have to do with the future? I was hoping for tomorrow's weather, or at least some insight as to whether or not furnishing a cave is a good idea.

Also, if you feel so compulsed, feel free to click like a madman on the links at the top of this page. It mightbe a good idea.

-AJ

It'll be a day like this one.

Missy's funeral was this afternoon. The turnout was great - two hundred some people, at least. Cocoa has a huge Sanctuary, and it was packed. I saw a lot of people there I haven't seen in awhile, and it was actually pretty cool. It wasn't awkward or anything, even with Jackie. Jackie's a good person.

Church was good this morning.

So was lunch.

And I would like to go live in a cave. You don't pay bills and people don't bother you. It's quiet. Even the sun leaves you alone. Of course, then you figure, you have to furnish it, and furniture is unwieldy enough when you try and take it through a door. Never mind a cave. Caves - real caves, mind you - are nigh impassable. They're usually underground, and there's rocks everywhere. Big rocks. And if there's ever an earthquake, Nelly, you're in trouble. Though, if you had inflatable furniture, you could just put it in a backpack and take it where you wanna go. They have those inflatable chairs, you know. And some air mattresses could even pass as a full on bed. Lighting would be an issue too, but you've always got batteries. And they make those headlamps that run off of some special kind of stone, and water. No, seriously. Wiki it. I bet they make lanterns out of the same stuff, and even if they don't already, you could probably make one yourself. You'd just need a bigger rock.

Then I guess you might have to worry about bears, but if you go deep enough underground, what bear is going to bother? I'd think the only reason a bear would go that far into a cave would be to hibernate, and like, I know bears climb trees, but I'm not so sure about rocks. Real caving involves a lot of climbing. And if the thing's going to hibernate, he'd be asleep the whole time anyway. So you'd be like roommates. That would be awesome. Bear roommate.

Wait, what would be even MORE awesome is hibernating. God in Heaven, I would pay money to hibernate right now. For like, a month. January fifteenth is almost here. The day of destiny. The day of reckoning.
That aside, hibernating would be amazing. I'd eat a bunch, climb down in my cave, and then chill on my air mattress for a month. And I'd be unconscious! I can think of a few people who would love that. At least I think they would. And that aside, I definitely would.

I gotta stop drinking caffeine. It's poison.

Work tomorrow night. Ten hour shift. Great way to end a vacation.

See now I can't stop thinking about hibernating. I think they make drugs for that, but I guess those could also kill you. I wonder if Ebay has morphine.

-AJ