Now get out of my way Paul, before I push you to the floor and go to the bathroom on you.

So I made the grievous mistake of allowing myself to confuse the SHIPPING date with the RELEASE date for Too Human. Maybe it's just me, but I don't really care what day you're mailing the game on. I want to know when I can play it. So now it looks like I'll have to wait at least one more day.

I WAS going to spend the day playing it and post a review, but since that fell through, ima' review this garbage instead,




Secret Life of the American Teenager is a new series on ABC Family(formerly known as Fox Family, and a network notorious for rerunning Mary Kate and Ashley movies and other similar media). It's about nothing in particular or anything worth watching. The plot basically consists of some chick getting knocked up and all her friends going "OMG!".

There's a conservative chick who doesn't want her to get an abortion who is basically your stereotypical TV Christian. Then there's some other girl who doesn't seem to have a purpose. The main character's younger sister is an emo kid and a slut. Then there's a guy who's really nice and wants to marry her and then the dumbass who got her pregnant. Also her dad, and he's pissed off. Her mom doesn't seem to care about anything. I think there may be some other characters too.

A lot of the show seems to have been shot on a greenscreen. I don't know why. How hard can it be to simulate "outside" using conventional methods? If they were going to use a greenscreen they could have at least used a good one. I'm just saying.

The title doesn't make any sense because everybody knows the main character is pregnant. Also I don't know if you remember but there was this movie called Juno and it was um sort of popular um you know and it was kinda you know um THE SAME THING. Why they felt the need to turn it into a series is beyond me.

They also all speak in pretty much the same monotone the entire time and are really incapable of expressing true emotion. The dialogue is laughable. Here's an example.

"Ami! When did you learn to stand up for yourself!"

"When I got pregnant!"

All in all "Secret Life of the American Teenager" should be called, "The Not So Secret Show About Stupid Kids Making Poor Decisions Being Portrayed By Actors Who Really Can't Act Even Though Some Of Them Are Kind Of Attractive."



Don't watch this show ever. Don't even talk about it.