Of mathmatics and schemantics.

It should be noted that the content of this post has little or nothing to do with the subject header.


I know I haven't updated since December and there's little to be said about the time that's passed there since. Lost my job, but I'm not complaining. I shouldn't say lost, I guess, since I resigned. Since then I've survived on the After School Karate program and odd jobs, another of which I'll be undertaking this coming friday. I've not wanted for anything nor been in any danger of going broke, so really, it all equates to having more spare time. Lord knows I needed that.

I've taken up writing again, but how long that will last, no one can say. I've also been watching a lot of movies, via torrent download. By dumping them onto an external drive(in this case, my PSP) and then jacking it into the USB port of my 360, I've watched several new releases, for free, on the big screen without having to make DVDs or undergo some elaborate streaming process involving cables and the like. S'fantastic.

-AJ

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I'm looking forward to this weekend being over, because it promises to be the worst one in recent history. Except maybe this next one. The smell of this entire month has thus far yielded nothing but disappointment and extreme frustration, coupled with a strong desire to kill or break something. I should take up hunting. No, actually I shouldn't, because I'd do it once and probably never again - from either guilt or laziness - and then I'd have a bunch of equipment that I'd be stuck with. What I should do instead is buy a pistole, and at times of great frustration, pull it out and fire a few shots into the air. 'Course then theres jail. I hate this month.

I work all night tonight and due to circumstances beyond my control and realm of acceptability, I would like to sleep through most to all of the day tomorrow. Consciousness promises to hold no joy tomorrow afternoon. I considered buying some Tylenol PM just to knock me out for the day, but decided against it for the fact that I don't want to get used to using drugs out of frustration. I've used the stuff before, specifically when a drastic and sudden change in my sleep schedule was required for a new job, and the stuff really does work wonders. But I'd managed to do so without any dependency, and I hope to keep it that way. Plus I don't really need that much sleep tomorrow. I simply want it.

As I followed this thought I imagined myself quite capable of becoming dependent on sleep aids, if I allowed myself too. I imagined myself unable to go to bed without them, unable to rest without them. I imagined myself building up a resistance to them, eventually needing more and more to get tired. I'm not sure how feasible that is, or if they qualify as being, "narcotic"(Tylenol PM and other non subscription sleep aids specifically). Nevertheless I saw it as possible. I have a tendency to form habits, and quickly at that.

Then I thought about people who are ACTUALLY addicted to drugs, and it was hard not to think of them as the victims. Victims of themselves, to be sure, but in a sense, still unwilling and halfway blameless. If sleep aids have a potential to be so potent, what about something more addictive like alcohol or coke? Ehg. I suppose it's all part of people compulsively needing to destroy themselves. Honda had it figured out in 1954. Drugs? Godzilla? Same damn thing.

-Blah blah blah